I havnt updated in a while....... and I dont really have much to say either. I love him. I really do. But me in a relationship just doesnt seem right. PartE on the 20th.. I cant wait. Its supposed to be a great experience... Then 19th inuman with the barkada utenta, bam and carlo. Hope my mum lets me. Im so sick of her. Che. Its xmas anyways. She should be more considerate. For some reason i dont feel the Christmas spirit. *sigh* this is gay. Well here are some random pictures that i like a lot. and yes im a camwhore.

I miss going to a big school. I miss all the activities and I miss my old friends too. Gay Gay Gay. Even if I.S did fuck up my life I still miss it cuz its basically where I grew up. Im heading to Battle of the Bands this friday. Cant believe its been a year since all the shit happend to me. I remember the week after Battle of the Bands I disappeard from i.s and next thing I knew I was saying goodbye to the people back at school. Its strange really. It feels as though its only been a couple of months. If i do go back to i.s will things still be fucked up or will I be fine cuz ive accepted the fact that the people at i.s will never understand me and how my mind works. Even if im at i.s il have my real friends from outa school anyways. So does that mean that I actually have the choice of going back? Im sure I can be oblivious to the things going on at school and live my life like I do right now. Haaay. I hate all these what ifs. In other news. Kyokos Birthday friday night and digi cam on wednesday.. wo00ot mcwo0oot wo00ot.

So today wasnt so bad after all...:D Got out of school around 12 and headed to the skate park near my house.. Met up with Ron and Otto... It was fuun.. I was actually able to skate. Wo0o0o0pee.. Glad to know that my very limited skate skills are still there. Might head up to the park again next week just to bum around and try to learn a couple of tricks..:p After that I met up with indy and mikko to head up to the Brent vs. ISM basketball game. I was actually dreading the fact that I was visiting the school but it turned out well..:D Made me realize that I actually do miss certain people back at that school. I miss the school spirit and blah blah blah. Hate to say it though but Brent has waaay better school spirit than I.S..:p The game was pretty close. I think ISM won by 6-8 points... Woo0o0o0pee.. I still have I.S pride left in me.. BWAHAHA. I was at the brent side TRYING to cheer for em but it dint really work. So i gave into the temptation and headed to the ISM side. The cheer whore inside me just leaked out.. Lets go bearcats lets go. HAHA. So yes I do admit that I miss the school a tad lil bit. It feels good to know that some people do actually miss my presence.. Haaay buhaaay. Anyways I saw Jay at the game. It was funny cuz it was all very simple. Hi, hello and that was it. My pussy side took over me and i dint talk to him. L-0-S-E-R. I R L-o-S-E-R. Oh well. I do hope i get the chance to have a great conversation with him in person though. Just for kicks..:p I think its time that I need someone special in my life. Maybe not. HA. Screw love and all its bullshit.:p

Makes me wonder why it feels like ive known you for the longest time. I think about you alot and I worry about you too. I miss you even if it doesnt make any sense. I cant wait till you get back so I can see you. Im sure u cant wait to get back cuz u miss all ur other friends. When ur back will u even notice me or will u just be too busy with ur friends. When you get back will we actually feel a special connection between us? Will you find someone more interesting when u get back? Or maybe ul get back with ur ex.. Will we actually get the chance to have our O.C marathon when u get back? Bamness. Bamness. Bamness. Im not sure of what I feel for u. Its strange really. All these questions buzzing in my head and no answers to turn to. I miss you dorkface. Come back na.

Im going to visit my old school tomorrow. Yup yup.. The school that i used to bitch about ever so often. I.S.M... Its not really a bad school. And the people arnt soo bad either. I guess I just never really hit it off with them cuz we probably arnt on the same wavelength. But moving on. Theres a brent vs I.S basketball game tomorrow. I had no intention of going but HE asked me to go... Think think think. So what do I say.... "Hmmm il think about it.. Maybe il surprise you".. In my head im thinking "Of course il go u stupid fuckhead. If ur gonna be there then shoooor".. HAHA... I r LOSER... Ofcourse I thought of the idea that bitch girl might be there. But then again shes just an insecure bitch so if she tries to start something with me i will just walk away. However if she tries to provoke me in any physical way then its over. I will kick her damn ass right then and there. *WAPAK*.. hehehe. I shall see the faces of people that I used to see every single day. I shall walk through the halls that I used to pass everyday. Maybe il even buy a quesadilla and ice tea at mexicali just like before. Haaay buhaaaay. Sounds like a plan to me. Then after that I might meet up with Mike and jam with the Weedisneys for awhile. Fun fun fun....:D *crosses fingers* Hope my mader will allow me..